by: Lyndee Macaskill

October 5, 2023

A flush of heat hit my neck… my face… quick, look away…

My thinking brain chimed in… “Really?!? What are you so embarrassed about? It’s smart to ask for a discount, not something to feel shame about.”

We were at a discount store checking them out for the first time and came across the cutest rain boots for my toddlers… fire trucks with clear, light-up heels. There was a pair for each child with that design, but the only one left in my older one’s size had a defective light on one heel. Even though the light was not working, I was definitely still going to buy them. I mean, the kids needed to match… right...

After lots of wandering the store, children asking "Mommy can I have this or that" and piling the cart high with odds and ends, we finally made it to the checkout. There was no one else there but the cashier, a young guy with an outgoing demeanor. As he rang up my cart of goodies, we chatted while I chased my toddlers away from checkout add-ons. I was "that" lady.

A man with one item appeared behind me in line. He had one item. "Oh great", I thought… He joined in on our jovial chatter; I started feeling more uneasy. Poor guy having to wait on me, and I'm about to drop a bomb on the situation. Should I or shouldn't I?

"Yes, I want those, and can I have a discount", I hear myself saying. Flush of heat, look away…

"Probably not, but I can ask my manager."

"Yes, yes please."

After a couple of minutes more of feeling utterly ridiculous, now sweating between the nerves and chasing my toddlers around the checkout, all the while pretending that the whole "show" didn't belong on some comedy video channel, the manager arrived.

"Um, she wants a discount on these. The light doesn't work." The manager looked at me and back at him and said, "Give her 30% off ." Phew!! It worked, and all I had to do was ask?!!

Eira Hayward, editor of Mind the Product says “If you feel uncomfortable about negotiation, reframe it as a creative endeavor and the opportunity to create a solution that meets everyone’s needs. Doing this can turn a negative experience into a positive one.” Really, that is what negotiation is all about… looking for the problems and finding the best solution for both parties, accomplishing a win-win.

In this case, each party had a problem that needed solving. The store would have had a much harder time finding a buyer for the boots by themselves due to the defect. Even though there were other boots with different designs for my older child, I wanted my kids to match. All I had to do was ask, even though it seemed like a cra-cra situ in my mind. The reality was that I was creating a win-win situation for both parties.

Ken Gosnell’s article teaches what God tells us about negotiating with servant leadership. In Philippians 2:3 (NIV version) to, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility, value others above yourselves.” When we use this thoughtfulness in understanding that a negotiation is not all about selfish endeavors but about understanding the problems of both parties and trying to solve for both, like two puzzle pieces that fit together snugly. Then, we accomplish true success in the effort of negotiation.

Below are a couple of resources:

1. C12 Business Forums published this video about his beliefs of Negotiating for a Win-Win situation: video

2. Kwame Christian is a speaker and teacher who helps people to have hard conversations: video

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